20,259 Words on Day 12: Goodbye Catherine Gauthier and a warning

Today was not hilarious, since I was writing about the death of Catherine Gauthier, Annalise's adoptive mother. Tomorrow I will be back to the present timeline, so will get back to the action then. A while back, when Catherine was introduced, a couple of you asked what would be the consequence to Anna of playing a role- this is about what those consequences were for Catherine. And she delivers a chilling death bed warning.

Sorry this is such a long excerpt, I shortened it as much as I could.

“I want to tell you something,” Catherine began. “Something about me that no one knows.” Annalise was not surprised that Catherine had not said ‘not even your father knows.’ As they both knew, Annalise’s father knew nothing of his wife. He saw what she wanted him to see, and nothing more. “I loved you from the moment I saw you. When you walked through that door, all twisted up, and fierce, and ready for battle, I knew. I knew you had something in you that would get you through whatever life threw at you. You are a survivor, Annalise, I know you know that.” Annalise nodded, unable to keep the tears from streaming down her face. “I am a survivor, too.” Catherine clenched Annalise’s hand as she said this, tears in eyes now, too. “But one thing I have come to realize these last months, is that I have survived, but I have not lived.” The tears began to stream down Catherine’s face, but she choked them off. She had more to say. “I know I am the one who taught you how to wear a thousand masks, how to shift from one to another, how to recognize which is needed, and how to be the perfect version of whoever anyone wants you to be, and you have been that, Annalise. You have been so perfect. What I never taught you, what I can’t teach you, is how to live without the masks, because I don’t know how.” The tears broke free then, and Annalise said nothing, allowing Catherine the time she needed to compose herself. She didn’t wait long. Catherine was an old hand at controlling her emotions.

“I read this quote once: ‘Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.’ I laughed when I read it. I laughed the laugh of a woman who knows nothing of life, even less of death. I laughed and thought ‘what fool said that?’” Catherine laughed as she said this, but it was a bitter laugh, devoid of joy. “Those words have stayed with me, and these last few days, I can’t stop thinking about them," she continued, a faroff look in her eyes, “and I can’t stop thinking about you.” She turned her gaze to Annalise. “You know, I didn’t save your life so that you could survive, Annalise, I saved you so that you could live. Don’t make the same mistake that I made. Do not die with your mask on. I need you to promise me to be so brave, braver than you have ever been. Promise me you will find a way to open your heart.”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry about me. You know I will be okay…” Annalise began, but her mother cut her off.

“Promise,” she commanded, her eyes on Annalise, tear-stained but as fierce as ever.

“I promise, Mom. I promise,” Annalise said, and her mother visibly relaxed. Catherine’s hand, which had felt cool and dry, now felt warm in Annalise’s own. Annalise reached for Catherine’s forehead, and was alarmed by how quickly the fever had returned.

“Let me get you some ice,” she said, eager to have something to do, anything that would allow her to shake off the feeling of helplessness that was overwhelming her, if only for a moment. Catherine nodded weakly, and closed her eyes.

When Annalise returned, she could see a sheen of sweat on Catherine’s face. She had expected to find her mother asleep, but Catherine’s eyes were wide open, glassy with the fever that had overtaken her again.

“There’s one more thing, something you must do,” Catherine said, a new urgency in her voice.

“Yes, Mom, whatever you want,” Annalise replied.

“You must take care of Ethan,” she said.

“Of course.” Annalise felt somewhat relieved. She was finding the dying confessions of Catherine Gauthier to be decidedly uncomfortable. There were things she didn’t want to know, about Catherine or about herself. About herself most of all.

“You don’t understand me,” Catherine continued, the urgency in her voice giving way to near panic. She clutched Annalise’s hand and looked meaningfully into her eyes. “You must keep both eyes on him at all times. Someday, he is going to try to take him, and you mustn’t let that happen. You must never let that happen.” Someone was going to try to take Ethan? What the hell? Did she mean Brock? Surely she didn’t mean…

“Who is going to try to take Ethan?” Annalise asked, a chill running through her body.

“The Devil,” she said, and for the first time in her life, Annalise heard fear in Catherine’s voice.