When Anna walked in,
Jack was sure that she wouldn’t last. She was exactly the kind of child that
Mrs. Randall took the most intense pleasure in hating. She looked to be about 6
or 7, but looks, Jack knew, could be deceiving. Most of the kids were on the
small side. She had long, shiny dark hair, thick and wavy. He noticed Mrs.
Randall notice it right away. She had large dark eyes, very pretty. Jack saw
Mrs. Randall soften in a way that he knew would mean trouble for Anna down the
road. But Jack, as many did, had underestimated Anna.
Later that night,
after Mr. Drab Suit had climbed back into his government issued vehicle and
driven away, Anna took a pair of sewing scissors and cut her own hair off in
lopsided chunks. She, too, had noticed Mrs. Randall noticing. Where it had once
reached her mid back, the longer strands now hung down to her shoulders. Mrs.
Randall gave a splendid performance of being horrified by Anna’s actions, but
truly, she was most likely disappointed, or relieved, or maybe what she felt
was a grudging respect for a little girl who would cut off her own beautiful
hair to rob someone else of the pleasure of taking it away from her. Jack
certainly did.
He also respected the
way she carried herself with dignity, her small pointed chin held high as she
put away her small number of belongings and claimed the top bunk bed for her
own, displacing an older and much bigger girl.
When everyone had gone
to sleep, he heard the creak of the floorboards, and assumed that she was going
to find a quiet place to cry. Everyone cried their first night in a new home,
especially at Mrs. Randall’s. He crept soundlessly out of his own bed and
followed. When he found her on the back porch, sitting on the edge of the step,
he was surprised that her shoulders weren’t shaking. The moonlight shone down
on her, and she gazed upward at the stars. She was so quiet. He sat down next
to her, and she looked at him as though she had been expecting him. She smiled,
and although it was a sad smile, her eyes were dry. Something inside of Jack
warmed as he sat next to her, quietly gazing at the stars. He didn’t yet
recognize it as love, not having felt anything like it before, but he knew that
for the first time in his life, he didn’t feel alone. It was a terrifying
feeling.
Your book is definitely going somewhere and that somewhere is greatness! I'm loving these characters and the different ways in which they keep claiming a way to be themselves. Your excerpts don't have to be funny for me to love them, although I'm sure the funny is coming and I'll love that too.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful excerpt. Little boy Jackie is such an interesting character.
ReplyDelete"Something inside of Jack warmed as he sat next to her, quietly gazing at the stars. He didn’t yet recognize it as love, not having felt anything like it before, but he knew that for the first time in his life, he didn’t feel alone. It was a terrifying feeling."
I love how you phrased this section, the loneliness and the fear of stepping into the unknown of finally having someone to depend on. These characters are so easy to get invested in and I agree that it doesn't need to be funny. The story is already so moving and powerful.
I’m sorry that you aren’t feeling like things are moving forward, because you don’t need to! I love learning about their fascinating inner lives. Like the way that Jack underestimates Anna but quickly sees her strength. And how Anna cuts off her own hair as a way of asserting that she won’t be pushed around.
ReplyDeleteYour book is coming together in such a lovely way. I look forward to the hilarity, but I always adore the way you sketch out your characters and how sad and beautiful their lives can be.
JILL YOU ARE A MAD GENIUS
ReplyDeleteFAvorite sentences: "a grudging respect for a little girl who would cut off her own beautiful hair to rob someone else of the pleasure of taking it away from her."
and "for the first time in his life, he didn’t feel alone. It was a terrifying feeling."
And seeing Anna's surprising strength and force!! I love Anna.