Day One complete, and I am at 1760 words. I have not written much it seems, but have introduced 3 of the main characters. Annalise Gauthier (referred to as Anna in flashback scenes), Jackie Bauer (Jack in flashback scenes), and Ethan Gauthier, Anna's 15 year old son. I actually don't think he will be in much of the novel, since Anna is about to leave him at his father's as she journeys to New Jersey for an ill-advised conference. But who knows???
I have a couple of excerpts to share, the first is of young Anna and Jack in the home of the evil Mrs. Randall, where they lived as foster children.
Mrs. Randall had
stopped moving, and Anna knew what would come next, steeled herself for it, and
promised herself silently that she would not give Mrs. Randall the satisfaction
of knowing how frightened she was. She looked up into Mrs. Randall’s triumphant
face, and knew she had already broken her promise. Just as Mrs. Randall took a
step forward, Anna heard the floorboards creak to her right. She whipped her
head around and saw what Jack was about to do. She shook her head at him,
willing him to step back. They locked eyes for a moment, his steely gray and
so, so old for 13, hers brown and now filling inadvertently with tears. And she
knew in that moment, what she saw in his eyes was something like insanity, and
there was no stopping what would come next.
She looked back at
Mrs. Randall, who now smirked with a half grin, gazing between them with something
like amusement, as a cat might find itself amused by the mouse it toys with.
That was the first time that Anna understood Mrs. Randall’s cruelty, truly
understood the game that she played as she lined them up, one by one, oldest
and strongest to youngest and most vulnerable. Anna had always understood the
hurt that Mrs. Randall inflicted on their bodies, but now she saw in that gaze
that the real goal had always been more. And Jack, hero that he wanted to be,
had let her win.
The second excerpt is of Annalise and Ethan, current day.
“You don’t have to take care of me you know, E. It was just
a dream,’ she said, chiding him gently, letting her smile broaden. She still
felt surprised every time she looked at him. He looked so grown up, these days.
As a child he always had a smile on his face, blonde hair curling softly around
his ears. Now his hair had grown darker, and he kept it short, no curls in
sight. And he was tall, already taller than her and still growing. He smiled at
her now, the uneasiness from moments before drifting away.
“Just trying to shut you up is all, before the neighbours
call the cops,” he replied with a grin as he left the room.
“Nice,” she replied, but he was already gone, and she was
left to collect her thoughts. The sweat had begun to cool and she grabbed the
sweater hanging off her chair and wrapped it around her, rubbing her arms as
she got to her feet. As she brushed her teeth she tried, as she always did, to
remember what she had been dreaming about. What had rocketed her to her feet,
her heart pounding and her fists ready? But the dream was gone, and she was
left with the empty feeling of dread that had been following her for days.
Wow, Jill! I can see that you have picked up where you left off with writing powerful, mysterious, and beautiful prose. I am so in awe of your way with words and I always love seeing what you come up with.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like Anna is going to get into teaching and pedagogy after some horrifying experiences at the hands of an abusive teacher. What an important theme! I also love Ethan.
Eek, sounds like your characters are in for some hard times! Plus they have to be in New Jersey. I agree with Katie, really superb prose here. you communicated so much about your characters in such a short excerpt. I caught the reference to grammy in there - will she be your inspiration for Mrs. Randall?
ReplyDeleteJill, I'm so excited for this novel already. Your writing is always so beautiful and evocative. Can't wait for the next excerpt.
ReplyDeleteSo, so good! Such a good idea to have different names for the characters in the flashback scenes - it's like they changed their identities when they got older, to get away from Mrs Randall's abuse. I can tell already this is going to be so satisfying to read.
ReplyDeleteI got sad when I read about Annalise looking at Ethan's face and missing the child that used to be there... must be how you feel all the time now! I certainly feel it every time i see pictures of your kids. I love who they are now but also really miss them as kiddos. xoxo